As a result of trust issues or the lack of self-esteem, adult children of parents with AUD often struggle with romantic relationships or avoid getting close to others. Alcoholic parents (now referred to as parents with alcohol use disorder or AUD) affect their children in many ways, some so profound that the kids never outgrow them. Here’s a look at the psychological, emotional, interpersonal, and behavioral effects of being raised by parents who are struggling with alcohol use. Most of the adult children of alcoholics who I know underestimate the effects of being raised in an alcoholic family. More likelyits shame and simply not knowingthat adult children of alcoholics (ACOAs), as a group, tend to struggle with a particular set of issues.
Daughters with alcoholic fathers are not only at a high risk for developing alcoholism themselves, but they are also more likely to suffer from anxiety or depression. A 2014 review found that children of parents who misuse alcohol often have trouble developing emotional regulation abilities. A 2012 study that considered 359 adult children of parents with AUD found that they tended to fall within five distinct personality subtypes. One of these types, termed Awkward/Inhibited by researchers, was characterized by feelings of inadequacy and powerlessness. The hero child is one of five subtypes of children of alcoholics developed by Sharon Wegscheider, a substance use clinician.
You might do whatever you can to avoid conflict
Parents’ use of alcohol and teens’ lower performance in school have shown an association in research. This could be related in part to the behavior issues among children of parents with an AUD. Growing up with a parent who has an alcohol use disorder can change how an adult child interacts with others.
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Children of alcoholics often experience psychological consequences as a result of their parent’s addiction. These can include feelings of shame, low self-esteem, and stress. Anxiety and depression are also common in children with alcoholic parents, as they may internalize their struggles in the family. Seeking professional help or support groups for children of alcoholics can help mitigate these negative effects on their mental well-being. Family therapy plays a crucial role in the recovery process, as it helps family members understand the effects of addiction and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Moreover, Al-Anon groups are peer-led support groups designed specifically for those affected by a loved one’s alcoholism.
Anxiety
The feelings, personality traits, and relationship patterns that you developed to cope with an alcoholic parent, come with you to work, romantic relationships, parenting, and friendships. They show up as anxiety, depression, substance abuse, stress, anger, and relationship problems. One in four children and teens in the US live in a family where substance abuse, dependency, or addiction occurs. For an adolescent or young adult, living with a parent who experiences dependency on alcohol can feel distressing, confusing, and scary. Long-term alcohol misuse can lead to a range of cognitive impairments, including difficulty processing information, impaired memory and learning capacity, and impaired judgment.
A personality prone to impulsivity may make it more challenging to resist using substances, especially during times of high stress. High sensitivity, in turn, may make someone more vulnerable to life stressors and challenging circumstances, increasing the risk they turn to substances to cope. While the challenges and impacts of alcohol misuse on families can be significant, individual outcomes can vary.
People who suffer from AUD often experience changes in brain function, mood, and behavior, and may become socially isolated. For alcoholic parents, it can affect the way they communicate and develop relationships with their children as well. Research suggests that about one in 10 children lives with a parent who has an alcohol use disorder, and about one in 5 adults lived with a person who used alcohol when they were growing up. Parents with an AUD may have difficulty providing children with a safe, loving environment, which can lead to long-term emotional and behavioral consequences.
Maybe he’ll deny having alcohol dependency and assure you that everything is under control, but don’t give in. The conversation may become uncomfortable fast, but your dad needs to hear you say that he has a problem. He needs to confront how his drinking has Substance Use and Co-Occurring Mental Disorders National Institute of Mental Health NIMH affected your life and your relationship with him. Children of parents who misuse alcohol are at higher risk for anxiety, depression, and unexplained physical symptoms (internalizing behaviors).
- Among those misusing alcohol, people who are genetically predisposed to alcoholism have a higher risk of developing alcohol use disorder.
- If you are experiencing emotional, verbal, physical, or sexual abuse from your parent with alcohol dependency, tell your other parent or a trusted adult as soon as possible.
- Children of parents with alcohol use disorder may have “people-pleasing” tendencies and may be sensitive to rejection and criticism from others.
- Alateen offers an online chat option for those looking for online support.
- Some may learn to cope by reflecting their insecurities or worries onto others.
By engaging in these programs, you’ll become equipped with the knowledge and skills to improve your family’s well-being. In addition to therapy, joining support groups and engaging in online resources can make a significant difference in your journey. Groups like Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families and Al-Anon offer a safe space for children and family members of alcoholics to connect and share their experiences. For younger individuals, Alateen is a supportive community that caters to the unique needs of teenagers.